Ding Dong the Communist leader is dead

Just moments ago the news of KJ-il's death made its way around all the korean lunch tables.  I have only gotten the opinions of the English teachers' office, but it was much gloomier than I had anticipated.  I was the one who broke the news to them, so of course they went off to do a bit of personal research before talking with me.  I was most surprised by what they think might happen next.  One teacher thinks revolution, one thinks China will drop on by, and they both think the US will have their fingers up North Korea's nose regardless of the situation.  I think a whole lot of thumb twiddling will occur at first, but it would seem the time is right for something a tad bit on the crazy side.  South Koreans want to be reunited with their lost relatives, and others might see economical incentive to take part, but I hope who ever takes over (probably his equally crazy son, KJ-un) something is done about the known labor/prison camps.  

I'm a bit excited to be in South Korea during this historic time.  Perhaps something spectacular happens, or maybe it'll be like 4th of July and you convinced your mom to buy the really big and expensive firework that turns out to be a dud.  Fingers crossed for something to happen that's both safe and leads to progress on the peninsula.  

In Keith news, I had an extremely easy day today as I had 5 of 6 classes get canceled due to the end of the semester.  I should be working on my winter camp plans, but I still have 1/2 a day to make some sort of constructive effort in that department.  For now I will sit on facebook and either share KJ-il jokes, or discuss what will happen in the coming months in regards to SK and NK.  

Hope your day is better than KJ-il's

-keith

heating wars

I've been apart of an ongoing war within the school the past few weeks that got extra ridiculous this morning.  An interesting fact about Korean schools is that they are only partially heated, and the same goes for AC in the summer. For some reason my school has appointed the copy machine guy at my school as the heating czar.  I don't have a clue what his name is, but for the sake of simplicity I'll give him a western name for this blog.  So, Frank is the heating czar.  I can't communicate with Frank, but from his body language it would seem that he doesn't much like foreigners.  I don't deal with Frank outside of my heating and cooling needs, and the occasional fix in my room.   Frank checks my lights and heat use every day multiple times.  if I leave for more than a few minutes I'm expected to turn off my heat, which seem absolutely absurd, but I comply since that is easier than explaining why I think it's ridiculous.  I'm not sure if I forgot to turn off my heat during lunch or while I was teaching in a different class, but it seems like I pissed Frank off a little extra recently.  Frank, as heating czar, has the ability to control my room's heating... and I know when he adjusts the heat or turns it on/off because it makes a certain noise each time he touches it.

Today, I came to school per usual and turned my heat on as I walked into my room.  No more than 5 seconds later I heard the him turn my heating off.  I thought it was a mistake so I turned it back on... and bam, 2 seconds later he turned it off!  For him to respond that quickly to my turning the heat on would imply that he watched me enter the building and waited at the controls to turn the heat off as soon as I turned it on...  I thought it was funny so I shared this with my co-teachers, but they didn't think it was funny.  They tried turning it on only to find Frank turning it off immediately.  Finally, we called down to the office and shared our displeasure with them.  Finally, Scrooge (Frank) turned my heat back on at a lower than usual temperature and locked the controls so that I can't adjust them.  I don't much care since I prefer a lower temperature than my co-teacher, but I'm sure he's enjoying the thought of winning the heating war.  

Regardless, it's Friday and I don't give a shit if my room is hot or cold.  Tonight is the opening of a new bar in Suwon that everyone is excited for.  It's called Sam Ryan's, and there is the same bar in Seoul that everyone goes to on the weekends to watch sports from back home.  They have a ton of big screens showing sports, and customers can request any game they want.  They also have the cheapest beer and the best western food in town.  Their ribs special will be a staple in my weekly routine, I'm sure.  

 

Happy Holidays to everyone

keith

the most important eraser

Standard activities to kill time before the next class.

Guest blogger, Matt Marx

A friend and fellow UW-Madison graduate posted this on his blog, and I thought it was funny, unique, and a hell of a lot better than anything I could have come up with.  I asked him if I could share it with people who read my blog, and he agreed!  So, here is a funny story about jelly beans.

The Dangers of Jelly Beans

 

Dec8by Matt Marx

This diary excerpt, torn and smeared with blood and jelly bean remains, was found in the halls of Hamhyun Middle School in Siheung City, South Korea.  Readers beware:  Some of the content is graphic–and stupid–in nature.

Day 4:  08:44 LST

What drives the hellions to such madness?  What dark thoughts do they harbor, twisting their hearts to such insane cruelty?

In my many hours of solitude, I’ve often thought about The Swarm.  It’s been the only activity I’ve had  to keep my sanity, which is under constant assault from the jeers of the enemy.  And yet, answers still elude me.

Holed up in a freezing, abandoned classroom, my supplies are now dangerously low. Perhaps hope is in the shortest supply. I’m surviving on a jar of what has started this whole ghastly ordeal–a jar of Jelly Beans.  If I could only turn back the clock four days….my god, four days? Has it really only been that long?  I feel as if I’ve been on the run for a year.  I  look back at the naive fool I was, thinking I could brighten the student’s dreary exam schedule with jelly beans, newly arrived from home.  I grabbed the jar, and left the warm embrace of the heated teacher’s office into the adolescent chaos.  As I entered the arctic hallways and into the realm of the conch, I met with my first group of students.

And my doom.

Their cheerful eyes darted from mine to the jar, then slowly back to mine–and then they changed into something else entirely.  The smiles never left their youthful faces, but their eyes…I shudder to even remember…their eyes suddenly became monstrously old–gleaming with hateful avarice forged from the fires of primal wrath. I saw my own death reflected in every pupil.  The hallways suddenly seem unbearably hot from the greed burning through their gaze.  I ceased to be their teacher–or even human–and became a mere obstacle to sweetness.

41 flavors. 41 reasons to kill.

I don’t remember much after that.  I do know I miraculously escaped, torn and bloody, into this classroom.  My accursed tomb.  I think I perhaps used some kind of distraction.  “Look over there!  What’s Girl’s Generation and Super Junior doing here?!  And they’re giving out free cellphones?!”

But the ruse is up. I hear them closing in, and every one of the demons in the school–oh god, their eyes!!!– have been alerted to my presence. With my last shred of sanity being chipped away by The Swarm’s war cries (“Teacher!  Nice to meet you!”), I now realize it’s only a matter of time.

The din is now ear-piercing, and it’s only getting louder.  They’re at the door. Strange–when you accept the inevitable, a warm peace enters the body.  A welcome feeling in the frigid airs of a South Korean classroom.

Well done, Matt!  It's funny for all of us that know the ridiculous lengths that these kids will go to for a 1/2 inch square of chocolate.  The zombie-like description of the students is great, and their war cry of "Teacher! Nice to meet you," is spot on.  For most of you it is just a well-written and funny short story.  For us it is our every day life.

Hope you enjoyed the story!  


-keith